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So how do you get past those feelings that make you uncomfortable Find out what things make you most uncomfortable, and then don t do those things. Sounds simple, right Well, it depends. First, it could be difficult to ascertain what it is that makes you most uncomfortable. I know some people that are afraid of talking with new people because they are concerned that they may make a bad impression. I know others that are afraid of new people because they are not comfortable with themselves to start with. You need to find out exactly what your biggest concern is with meeting new people. Doing so will give you the opportunity to overcome those challenges, which also happens to be the second difficulty you face. Most people find it uncomfortable to attend events where they do not already know someone. If that also describes yourself then make an effort to find a friend to attend the event with you. Just make certain you do not spend all night talking with your friend and you never meet anyone new. TIP: It always helps to have a conversation starter. If you cannot think of anything else, you can always start with the weather.
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CHAPTER 9: Connect. Learn. Share.
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Another tip that helps many people is to arrive early. That way it is easier to start a conversation with someone else that arrives early. If you arrive fashionably late you may find it more difficult to inject yourself into a conversation taking place among a group of people. When you arrive early you can not only talk with some of the other few early arrivals, you may also find it easier to move from your current group to another group. This is one reason why some people prefer social networking. It is more comfortable to meet people online than in person. I would remind you, however, that you are not anonymous when online. Be mindful of whatever comments you post to these forums.
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How to Approach Others
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I am not a natural conversationalist by any means. Walking up to strangers and talking to them is just not something I am very comfortable with. I have, however, learned a few things over the years that helps me understand how and when to approach others during a networking or social events. The first thing to notice is how people are interacting with each other. No matter how many people in a group, that group is always considered either open or closed. An open group means that people s body positions are such that they are inviting others to join in their conversation. When people are standing and talking they will naturally position their bodies in a specific way depending on the nature of the discussion. Most discussions lend themselves to the group being open. A closed group is formed when the nature of the conversation is such that the participants are turned toward each other in a manner that is not inviting. This is a group that you would not want to try to interject yourself into a conversation, you would want to scan the room and look for open groups instead. TIP: I like to look for people that are looking for people. Hopefully that makes sense. In other words, often times there are people who have that inviting look, a look that says come talk to me or I wish someone was talking to me. Sylvester Carstarphen Once you have figured out which groups are open, you will need to go over and introduce yourself. It does not have to be anything fancy or difficult. Just a simple, Hello, my name is Tom, nice to meet you. is all you need. Well, you should use your own name, of course. After that you can get a conversation started with a basic question such as How did you hear about this event or What do you do for work You could even make a statement, like I am nervous. or I have trouble meeting new people. are all acceptable conversation starters. After you have spent some time, you may want to move on to a new group. There is no hard and fast rule on the amount of time that must be spent with any one group. But you will need to have an exit strategy in place before leaving your group for another. Do not be so rude that you would leave a person by themselves, of course, but it is perfectly
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