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The freedom to be anywhere whether it s a grocery store, a sporting event, golf course, pool, or anywhere else and still instantly read and respond to important email or other message as if we were sitting at our desk. One potential reason for this need to continually check the flashing red light is that this is expectations we have set for responding quickly, anytime of the day or night. We are continually connected with our BlackBerry smartphones. We know it, and, everyone who knows us, knows it as well. We have created the situation nobody else did this to us and that s important to remember. We use the BlackBerry, and we respond to the messages as soon as they arrive. Most of us hate to disappoint people, especially those we care about. This holds true for both our professional and personal contacts. If people want our attention, we want to be there for them. Our BlackBerry smartphones allow and encourage this behavior. The problem is that this becomes a selfperpetuating problem. If we create a world in which we are always accessible, we are never off.
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Communication Feels Good
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The second reason for our bad behavior of continually checking for that little red light is that we like hearing from people. It feels good to have business associates, colleagues, friends, and family reach out to us. When Gary was a kid, he would run to the mailbox as soon as the mail carrier would drop off the mail (OK, sometimes he still does this!). Did anyone write to me today Gary would wonder to himself. When a letter came, there was great joy even if the person who wrote wasn t someone he was particularly fond of. If nothing came, he felt disappointed. When the light blinks, someone is communicating with us: we are not alone. Our BlackBerry smartphones bring us instant gratification by letting us know the instant someone wants us.
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Tip Replying Quickly to Email can Be Addictive.
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According to scientists, juggling e-mail, phone calls and other incoming information ... play to a primitive impulse to respond to immediate opportunities and threats. This stimulation provokes excitement a dopamine squirt that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored. 2
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Source: Attached to Technology and Paying a Price by Matt Richtel, June 6, 2010, New York Times.
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Can t Leave Home Without It
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I recently had just driven one hour of a four-hour trip when I realized I had left my BlackBerry on the kitchen counter. I turned around and went back to get it without a second thought! Oscar M., MadeSimpleLearning.com Customer
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Checking Messages Makes Us Feel Important
The third reason for continually checking that little light is perhaps the least flattering, but perhaps the most telling, if we re honest: it makes us feel important. Have you ever found yourself sitting in the airport, on a bus or train, and the first thing you do is take out your BlackBerry to check email What do you do if nothing is there Do you pretend that you are doing something important Do you do something anything to make it seem as though you are a somebody who needs to be continually connected
What fuels this need of ours Well, there are lots of explanations, many of which are as diverse as our population. Freud would bring this all back to a discussion about our ego and id. The Dalai Lama would tie this into our desire to be happy. Feeling important gives us a sense of purpose, which in turn makes us feel useful and happy.
He Couldn t Be Without It
I was dating a man who had both a BlackBerry and phone. He lives in another state. When he would travel to town on business, he always had his BlackBerry on Board. We had been talking in a restaurant and, mid-sentence, he would reach for the vibration and start typing furiously with thumbs that shouldn t be able to move that quickly. Once at the hotel, he would immediately plug it in and put it on a wood surface so that he could hear it without changing the ringer. It was the last thing he checked before turning in for the night and the first thing he checked in the morning after getting his glasses. If we left the room to go swimming, it was the first thing he looked at when returning to the room. J. K.
For many years, BlackBerry smartphones were the property of the higher- ups in the business and government world, the suits or execs. Those early adopters always looked so darn important checking email, typing with their thumbs, and we wanted to be like them and have what they had. In recent years, the explosion of BlackBerry smartphones has allowed many more people, even us non-higher-ups, to get in on the BlackBerry world. Some of us like to display our BlackBerry proudly on our belt, which might be telling the world: I am important. Often, what is behind our own feeling of self-importance is really our own insecurity. We look for validation from others to say: That person is really important! We need to remember this quote:
We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don t care for. Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach (Austrian novelist, 1830-1916.)
Truth be told, checking our BlackBerry constantly doesn t make us look important. It makes us look like a Geek who checks his or her BlackBerry too much!
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