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SELF-KNOWLEDGE: THE FIRST STEP TO LEADERSHIP
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workplace, and I believe that this identity is critically important Why Because when our identities are completely intertwined with our work lives, we lose our independence We limit our access to our creativity If we have no identity separate from our work identity, we don t take risks (If I lose my job, I lose everything) We become less passionate, and even worse! more cynical If that s not persuasive, try this: As a leader, you can t build a team, a department, or a company that is a whole lot different from who you are The inventor can t take himself out of the invention, even if he or she wants to
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A team expresses a coach s personality and its own personality, and this doesn t change from week to week
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Well, that quote begs the question, Who are you What are your principles and values, and what is your purpose Purpose can t be defined as what you do; it s who and what you are So what are you Without self-discovery and self-knowledge, you don t know
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LOMBARDI RULE #3
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You can t build a team that s different from yourself So be honest with yourself and honest with your team
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The successful man is himself, my father used to say To be successful, you ve got to be honest with yourself People have an unerring nose for dishonesty, fraud, pretense, and posturing You can t fake it When faced with a crisis, a leader must draw on resources from within to meet the challenge This is tough to do if you don t know your inner strengths So it is vitally important that you determine your principles, who you are, what you stand for, and what your strengths and weaknesses are in other words, self-knowledge
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W H AT I T TA K E S T O B E # 1
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That means that you have to discover and work with your own model You can t be Vince Lombardi, nor should you try You should be you
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In all my years of coaching, I have never been successful using somebody else s plays
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In business, it is incumbent upon each of us to figure out our own plays
WHAT AM I ABOUT Perhaps you re in a work environment in which people already take self-discovery and self-knowledge seriously If so, congratulations! A relatively newfound interest in these topics is one of the concrete benefits that grew out of the wholesale self-scrutiny undertaken by individuals and institutions in the 1980s and 1990s This impulse was fueled by the arrival on corporate doorsteps of a new breed of worker sometimes tagged with the label Generation X who, among other things, insisted on putting first things first If your company is already providing tools for self-discovery and selfknowledge, use them But let s assume, for the moment, that you re on your own Then, for you, self-discovery will be a do-it-yourself project You will have to conduct your own investigation, using your job and the rest of your life as grist for the self-discovery mill If the question is, What am I about then where should the answer come from Among the paths to self-discovery are prayer, meditation (or some other centering discipline), keeping a journal, dealing with hardship, and committing to continuous self-renewal Each of these techniques has been the subject of many good and bad books; in this context, I ll just run through them and suggest how they may be useful, separately or in combination
SELF-KNOWLEDGE: THE FIRST STEP TO LEADERSHIP
Prayer can take as many different forms and hold as many meanings are there are people An intimate friendship, a frequent conversation with the Beloved, is how St Teresa of vila defined prayer Elevation of the mind to God is what prayer meant to St John of Damascus An Islamic proverb holds that to pray and to be a Muslim are synonymous Obviously, this is highly personal ground I submit to you, though, that self-discovery comes more easily when we acknowledge something that is bigger than ourselves something that transcends our own egos The greatest gift my father gave me was the example of his faith (I will have more to say about faith in 4, when we look at character and integrity) His faith in God was his center, the source of his strength He never wore it on his sleeve, and he never preached A faith as strong as my father s doesn t need to be pushed on people; it was simply there, speaking for itself, making its point by its example He refused the entreaties of journalists to allow them to photograph him praying in church He suspected that such a picture would lend itself to abuse by a hostile editor, and he didn t want to cheapen his faith by appearing to be trading on it But more to the point of this chapter, Lombardi s faith was a personal tool for discovery, challenge, and renewal
When we place our dependence in God, we are unencumbered, and we have no worry In fact, we may even be reckless, insofar as our part in the production is concerned This confidence, this sureness of action, is both contagious and an aid to the perfect action The rest is in the hands of God and this is the same God, gentlemen, who has won all His battles up to now
In that quote, my father accentuated the positive But I know that he also used prayer to conduct a dialogue with his Creator about the
W H AT I T TA K E S T O B E # 1
most difficult paradoxes and contradictions of his life He was famous, and some people clearly idolized him, but he was convinced that he was unworthy of this kind of adulation He set extraordinarily high standards for himself and those around him, but was well aware that all humans (including himself) were fallible and unlikely to measure up to those standards He wasn t comfortable being the tough SOB side of his character he was painfully aware of how far removed it was from Christ-like behavior but he also knew that playing the Tough Guy was largely responsible for his success Bart Starr said it best: If you heard Coach Lombardi at practice every afternoon, you knew why he had to go to church every morning Self-discovery involves wrestling with these kinds of demons Self-knowledge leads you to a state of peace that comes from your understanding of who you are and what that means Prayer, as noted, is only one tool for self-discovery A centering practice, such as meditation and other disciplines associated with eastern philosophies and religion, is another This is no more and no less than paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, with intention, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally Some people describe it as making your mind quiet ; more accurately, it s a technique for finding the quiet that is already there All men s miseries, the French philosopher Pascal once wrote, derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone The pressures of life, the sometimes terrifying ups and downs of our family relationships, and the demands of our work pull us apart Quiet and solitude help us put ourselves back together Centering practices let us sit quietly in a room alone They help us quiet the din, and put ourselves back together If you want to learn more, I recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn s Wherever You Go, There You Are, Fr Thomas Keating s Open Mind, Open Heart, and Thich Nhat Hanh s The Miracle of Mindfulness Keeping a journal a daily analysis and evaluation of your experiences is an excellent way to reflect upon your life and discover
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