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Ben Franklin once wrote, Never use a longer word when a shorter word will do Brevity is a virtue in business writing Impatient executives, time-strapped managers, and overloaded workers want you to get to
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the point But effective business writing requires more than brevity; it requires clear messages delivered in an unambiguous style The rst tactic, conciseness, demands that you write succinctly The need to address this issue occurs when a communication contains more words than it needs to convey your meaning Note that length is not the issue Rather, the issue is whether the communication has more words than are needed to transmit your message Certainly overly long sentences are cumbersome and hard to read Your goal, in business writing, is to aid your readers in getting your points accurately and quickly Anything that hinders that goal is a aw in writing Consider the two ways writers make their communications too wordy: 1 Sentences are too long 2 There is too much information included in one sentence By examining these two causes of wordiness, you ll learn to quickly recognize and x it in your own writing
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One reason that your writing may be too wordy is that your sentences are too long Your sentences, on average, should contain fewer than fteen to twenty words For example, there s nothing wrong with a thirtyword sentence, as long as you have a six-word sentence in the same paragraph to balance it (ie, thirty plus six divided by two equals an acceptable average sentence length of eighteen) Separating long sentences into shorter ones often adds impact Divide Compound Sentences to Improve Readability One easy way to x overly long sentences is to break them into two or more separate units This x works easily with compound sentences A compound sentence is made up of two or more independent clauses sentences connected with a conjunction Eliminate the connector, and you re left with two shorter sentences Consider, for example, this sentence:
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The sentence is clear and straightforward but long It has twentyfour words Notice the word and The conjunction and connects what could be two sentences The sentence can be easily rewritten as:
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The seven conjunctions you re most likely to use to connect independent clauses are but, or, yet, so, for, and, and nor If you take the rst letter of each of these seven conjunctions, you ll create the easy-to-remember acronym BOY S FAN Finding one of these seven words used in this way to connect two independent clauses to form one long sentence allows you to quickly x an overly long sentence Review the following examples In each example, you ll see the pattern of compound sentences and learn how to separate them into two sentences, if you decide to do so Before: The Acme Corporation quote to update the manufacturing facility s computer system exceeded both our capital and operating budget limits, but we decided to accept it anyway because their service guarantee is the best (thirty-three words) After: The Acme Corporation quote to update the manufacturing facility s computer system exceeded both our capital and operating budget limits We decided to accept it anyway because their service guarantee is the best (Two sentences of nineteen and thirteen words averages sixteen words per sentence) Before: After reviewing landscaping and engineering concerns, we will build on the location farthest from the river, or if that location is deemed unacceptable, we may hire a surveyor to review other building site alternatives (thirty-four words) After: After reviewing landscaping and engineering concerns, we will build on the location farthest from the river If that location is deemed unacceptable, we may hire a surveyor to review other building site alternatives (Two sentences of sixteen and seventeen words averages sixteenand-a-half words per sentence)
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