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Tell me more about all of the consequences of this behavior
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You look like you are making yourself ill from overwork, lack of sleep and exercise, and food that would make a healthy person incapacitated, yet you act as though there is no problem with any of this I think you are in denial about it
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Eights may work 70 hours a week for four months in a row, eating highly unhealthy food and getting no physical exercise while driving themselves to complete exhaustion, yet be unaware of their physical state until they are ready to collapse Needing to believe in their own invincibility, Eights do not acknowledge even to themselves their personal, physical, and emotional limitations
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Body Center Challenge: The Why would you want to do that Question When Eight learners say they intend to do something, they have likely already begun taking action, and they can be immovable objects when questioned about it As a result, the developer can expect a strong reaction to the Why would you want to do that question, but this is exactly why this type of challenge is so important when coaching Eights They often move to action as soon as they have thought about what action to take, and they do this with great immediacy and a sense of urgency, particularly when they are stressed, anxious, or feeling vulnerable The Why would you want to do that challenge is especially useful in two situations: (1) The Eight learner articulates an intention to take action that sounds productive, or (2) the Eight learner expresses an intention to take action that might be risky or that could be counterproductive to his or her best interests As a note, many Eights can make bad ideas sound like good ones using the sheer force of their personality Developers need to be alert to this possibility, more discerning about the
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I want to slow down my urge to take such quick action
Developer s challenge Why would you want to gain more control of your urge to take action Developer s follow-on response If the Eight cannot think of an answer or gives an unconvincing answer, say: It doesn t sound like you really want to do this Then wait for the response When the Eight gives a convincing response, say: It sounds like this is really important to you Please tell me more about this, why it matters so much, and your current ideas about how to do it
An Eight s Counterproductive Intention to Act
I want to leave this company
Developer s challenge Why would you want to leave the organization Developer s follow-on response If the Eight gives you a reason that also makes sense to you, say: This sounds very good If the Eight gives you a reason you believe is possibly unwise, say: You may want to do this, but before you go further with it, you need to consider the potentially negative impact of this on you, on others at work, and on your family You don t want to regret this later because your action was solely instinctual
Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You Coach
value of a particular course of action, and willing to challenge Eight learners multiple times
Transformative Paradoxical Challenges Most Eights like paradoxical challenges because they understand complexity, systems, and root cause analyses Because they are highly instinctual and understand something best when they experience it directly, it is especially important to use the paradoxical challenge only after Eight learners have realized that they may be their own greatest obstacle to success After the developer states the paradox, it is essential to allow Eights time to think it through in silence They may ask questions or make comments, but Eights are most likely to say something simple and direct, such as asking, So what should I do about this The best answer is to say, Acknowledging it is the first step
THE EIGHT PARADOX
After reviewing his data feedback, Ryan, a supervisor in a pharmaceutical lab, told his manager, This is very upsetting I m not aggressive! Why would anyone say that about me The manager was surprised by Ryan s reaction and asked, You really don t see yourself as assertive Ryan became quiet and then responded, But there are so many things I don t say if people only knew how much I hold back about what I m thinking
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