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INDIRECT CHALLENGE
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You seem to have been working very hard these last two months How many hours a day do you think you are working at the of ce or at home, and what kind of a toll is this taking on you How much rest are you getting
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DIRECT CHALLENGE
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I don t think you let yourself know how much pressure you are under I ll bet you re even in denial about how much you re working per week and how exhausted you really are
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Body Center Challenge: Why would you want to do that What behavior has the learner stated he or she plans to do Do you think this is a wise course of action How would you phrase this Why would you want to do that challenge
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Why would you want to manage your anger and intensity Why would you want to have a relationship and family
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Transformative Paradoxical Challenge What paradoxes have you observed in the learner Select the most significant one How would you phrase this paradoxical challenge
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You say you want a great ongoing relationship, yet you work to excess and drive yourself so relentlessly that there s no time for yourself, much less for a relationship
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Coaching Enneagram Style Eight
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Paradoxical challenges should be used only with moderate or high self-mastery learners Low self-mastery learners are not in a psychological state to handle the complexity and ambiguity inherent in the resolution of this level of paradox, and deep-level or complex paradoxes can increase their anxiety While less powerful paradoxes can be used with these learners, developers should do so with caution
DEVELOPMENT ACTIVITIES FOR EIGHTS
Developers can suggest the following activities to Eight learners
Core Issue: Slow down your impulse to take action Each time you feel the impulse to take action for example, giving an opinion, suggesting or demanding that someone else do something, or in any way mobilizing forward action stop yourself and think: What is going on inside me that makes me want to move forward so quickly What will happen if I don t take action right now Expansion Through Wings and Arrows SEVEN WING Lighten up More often than not, Eights approach their work and life with great intensity as they try to transform ideas into action and make things work Eights can learn to lighten up by pausing intermittently during times when they would otherwise be driving toward action During these intervals, you should ask yourself these two questions: What is occurring in this situation that is positive or engaging What can I notice that is interesting or amusing Learn to be receptive Eights often make nearly instantaneous assessments and then respond immediately To become more receptive, you will first need to go inside yourself and examine your reactions Once you have done this, you can then say this to yourself: Just because I have a certain reaction doesn t mean I know all I need to know Let me put my reactions aside, not act on them yet, and then fully listen to what the other person is trying to tell me
NINE WING
Take time out on a regular basis to recharge your energy Once a week, without fail, take three hours for yourself Put this on your schedule and hold to it, no matter what may arise at work to demand your attention During these three hours, do something that you truly enjoy that relaxes you for example, a short golf game, a walk in the woods, or reading
ARROW LINE FIVE
Bringing Out the Best in Everyone You Coach
a good book You will find that this time-out recharges your batteries and reduces your tendency to go into overdrive
Acknowledge the best in others Whenever you interact with someone, think of at least two positive attributes that the person possesses, then keep these qualities in mind as you interact with this individual With people you don t particularly like or respect, force yourself to think of three positive qualities After doing this activity for two weeks, practice giving one sincere compliment to at least two people each day
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