Don t Be Tough in Visual Studio .NET

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Don t Be Tough
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After this meeting, the employees basically went into shock Instead of productivity increasing, it decreased Morale went into the tank In response, I was hired to coach Albert to improve his interpersonal skills and help him to rebuild the team When I asked Albert the reason for the approach he used during the all-hands meeting, he told me that he wanted to let them know how bad things had gotten And the only way I was going to be able to communicate that was to be tough Hence his repeated comments about the wakeup call He simply could not understand why the employees took it so personal I was just trying to light a re under them were Albert s words Subsequent to this meeting, I started to coach Albert, and we began the repair process with his team members by calling another all-hands meeting To get him ready for this meeting, I convinced Albert that there was no need to light a re under his employees, nor to give them a wakeup call Albert, I said, your team is hurting They need a soft manager, someone who is caring and nurturing Since I had found out that Albert s older son had taken ill, I advised Albert to assume that the employees in front of him were just like his sick son and that he was to speak to them from his heart, in a caring and nurturing way, as he had spoken to his ailing son earlier that day I also encouraged him to make himself vulnerable by talking about the challenges that he was facing and to use most of his available time to focus on the needs of his employees, not on himself or the management team Surprisingly, Albert did an extremely effective job to the point that the human resources representative told me that she had never seen that side of Albert before Unfortunately, the president of SWMC had already put pressure on Albert s boss to replace him Enough pressure that even though Albert s boss generally was satis ed with Albert s performance, Albert had been replaced in less than six months from the time he made the tough comments to his team Even though this situation clearly called for a soft approach, I agree with management consultant William Peace, who maintains that it is hard work to be a soft manager2 Peace maintains that in addition to the qualities of intelligence, energy, con dence, and responsibility, managers also should be candid, sensitive, and be willing to suffer the painful consequences of unpopular decisions Peace concluded: Being vulnerable to the give-and-take of ordinary emotional cross- re and intellectual disagreement makes us more human, credible, and open to change 3 And to me
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Don t Oil the Squeaky Wheel
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the best way to function as an effective soft contrarian leader is to master the art and skill of persuading people to do your thing their way And the best way to do that is for you to relentlessly apply the following ve laws I call them laws because, according to Robert Cialdini, author of In uence: Science and Practice,4 they are based on deeply rooted human drives that have been substantiated in over ve decades of scienti c investigations And most important based on my own consulting and coaching experiences they work
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The Law of Liking
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This law maintains that people are more likely to like people who like them The reason: People who are liked generate affection and good feelings, and people who feel good about themselves are more likely to comply with your wishes The epitome of the law of liking is my daughter Nicole, who has this innate charisma, personal magnetism, or whatever you want to call it that gets people to like her even fall in love with her after just a short time As a result, Nicole has the largest, most powerful network of any person I have ever met And members of that network are always eager to help her in any way they can You can achieve the same result by mastering three powerful strategies that will cause people to like you Strategy 1: Send out liking signals One of the most powerful is to smile A smile bridges the language gap and communicates to the other party, no matter where they are from or if they even speak your language: I m okay, and you re okay Strategy 2: Become an active listener so that you can nd something to like about the other person The reality is that all people are a composite of strengths and weaknesses, and it really does not take any more energy to nd the good in people than to nd the bad To make this work, use your mental energy to focus on the good stuff in the other person, and then let her know what you found Strategy 3: Find what you have in common with another person and let him know about it Similarities establish a positive bond with others and create goodwill and trustworthiness For example, research into the buying behavior of people has
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