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CHAPTER 17 Special Occasions
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Keep it short. People are attending the event to celebrate, not to hear a speech. Try to keep your toast to less than three or four minutes. Time yourself when you practice, and make sure you know when to stop talking. Be truthful and tasteful. If your Aunt Connie is known to be a grump, don t try to tell everyone that it s always a pleasure to be near her. Find honest and positive things to say about the honoree. If Aunt Connie has a generous and thoughtful side that she doesn t often show, you might tell a story that demonstrates those good characteristics. Be positive. Keep your talk upbeat. This occasion is not the time to bring up past injustices, slights, or grievances. Be appreciative. If you are the host, thank your guests for sharing the event with you. If you are not the host, be sure to start by thanking the people who invited everyone to share in the festivities. Focus on the honoree. Remember that the toast is about the person you re celebrating. Don t make it about you. Talking about your relationship is ne as long as the focus is on the honoree and makes a point the audience will appreciate. Don t drink alcohol before you offer your toast. Sloppy toasts will be remembered for a long time but not necessarily for the reasons that you might want. If you want to have a drink, have it after your talk. Look at the honoree or couple. Start and end the toast by looking directly at the person(s) you re honoring. Be yourself. If you have to work hard to be funny, don t! We can t all be Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, or Tina Fey. Be yourself, and speak from the heart. Be con dent. You were chosen to speak because of your unique relationship to the people involved. Smile, step into the limelight, and remember: it s not about you. Focus on your subject. Prepare for problems. If you suspect someone in the audience could be a heckler, you might want to have a friend prepared to remove or quiet the inappropriate person.
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TIMING IS EVERYTHING
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One key to a successful toast is for everyone present to raise a glass and drink in unison. The key word here is unison, so before you start talking, make sure everyone has an appropriate drink. If you have a wedding planner or wait staff, they can
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Special Situations
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let you know when the stage is set and the glasses are full. If you are the speaker, it s your responsibility to get everyone s attention before you start. You might enlist the DJ to lower the volume of the music and make an announcement. If there is no DJ, simply stand and raise your glass, so everyone knows it s time to join in.
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If you re leading a meeting, send out an agenda in advance, and respect your audience member s time by sticking to it.
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Good material for your presentation can present itself anywhere and at any time. Keep your ears and eyes open for appropriate comments to add to your toast. Here are a few resources you might want to investigate: Quotes. A good quote or poem can set the tone for your toast. Books, websites, and other sources for nding quotes are everywhere, but no matter what source you use, double-check the accuracy of the content and author. You can lead into your quote by citing the author this way: As Robert Frost said . . . Or you can give the quote and then add, That s the way Colin Powell looked at it in his book . . . Or you can have some fun: As the famous philosophers, Ben and Jerry, say . . . Photos and videos. Check out old pictures to jog memories of shared events and good times past. Look for events that included several of the people attending the celebration. Family and friends. Your own experience with the honoree is the best resource, but sometimes you ll need to get information from others. Be careful again to check for accuracy.
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